7.12.07

Alex,

Thank you for today's chat. I feel much better. I wonder if we really share common converstion topics or you are being very cautious with what you talk about. I just hope I am not too far behind from what you are thinking. I love chatting with you. Haha... maybe you could see through me. Maybe you know what I am worrying about us. That's why you are trying to bridge that gap. Alex, this is all I want. Just that perhaps we can walk together without a reason next time.

Agnes
juby
7:21:00 下午

6.12.07

Alex,

I am having this feeling that Shahad knows about us. Maybe I talked too mcuh about you in front of her. I tried misleading her that I don't like you. I don't know if she believes.

By the way, I hope the email was a hint and I hope you got mine.

Agnes
juby
3:05:00 上午

5.12.07

回頭一看, 原來我已開始愛上淡淡的愛情.
哈, 我老了嗎?
juby
8:43:00 下午

Our first letter

Alex,

I was really surprised when I see your reply this afternoon. Thank you, I really appreciated it. I am more than glad to know you feel the same as well.

There are some other things I would like to confess to you though. I have been helping Mia with her homework. On some occasions, I helped her to the unacceptable extent, which I am sure you know what I mean. I want to help her the proper way but she is not helping herself at all. I helped her with the structure of the content. However she seems to be too distracted to get work done. She leaves her messenger on even when I am there to help her. If she is not distracted, I would be. She has to reply to those messages so frequently that we can't even finish an entire sentence. I really want to see her excel in her work as well but I can't help her if she doesn't help herself.

I miss you already,
Agnes
juby
7:45:00 上午

5.12.05

fabrication. denial.

the more of a prove,
the more I instinctively tries to deny.
Or is it so that there is nothing meant to be denied?
That what I am thinking now is really true?

But truly, on a practical sense, all these look more like a fabrication base on our sub-conscience than something that is actually what we WANT to believe.

fabrication or my denial to believe the too-good-to-be-believe is going to be proved.

at least I believe it would be.
juby
1:18:00 下午

30.11.05

late

now then i know i am perpetually late
i was late.. in reading the post..
i was late.. to understand.. basically everything.
so what if i got it exactlly right?
so what?

yeah, i am blessed with great friends and family.
So i was right.

I am late.
Too late to remember what i found out.
Too late to realise what i have been doing.
Too late to realise what i have done.
Too late to realise i began to step on the border.
Too late to realise i am asking too much.
Please god, bless him
juby
12:10:00 上午

29.11.05

SHARKS

crap sharks idiot... no!!!!!
i dun wanna l-o-v-e him when he is liking somebody.. I dun even know if he still likes her.. i dun wan... dear..... i wan god is really very good me.. god let me see him before i am going to leave for such a lot time. GImme a chance to take a look at him real closely, let me look at him when he is sound asleep... dear... i am RAMBLING... crap la... i am having withdrawal syndrome now.. crap... crap... ....grrrrphhhhh...... thank god. ...seeing him today is too good to be believed.. but ... i am taking/ asking too much... no please... i need to appreciate what i was given... grrrrr...
juby
11:31:00 下午

26.11.05

gathering

i think from this point of time we should no longer call this a class gathering.. i think we have gone beyond that point. It's a reason for us old friends to meet and catch up with each other.

I had a lot of fun. But I really have to apologize to maydeline and family coz i caused a lot of trouble for them. Actually i feel really guilty about making every body pay so much for the bbq. hmph. THere wasn't much to barbecue. We din even want to barbecue actually. BUT!!!! i really have to say joey started a VERY VERY goood fire. It was superb. The best one we have in our gatherings.

As usual, there is just this kind of feeling I get from joey. I mean, he has also been changed through the years such that now he is even with more substance and you know.. he is really very considerate and very very responsible now.

I enjoy having him around. I really do. I enjoy being "disturbed" by him. It's fun.. and sometimes I even find it sweet. We had really a great time together. I love murderer and polar bear especially. It is really nice when you see that he will try his best to understand you when you are speaking.

But i feel that if i want to be with him, i am depriving him of a better girl. I believe he deserves a better girl than me. He does.

I love to hear his half woken up voice too. You feel really close to him when you hear that. We had breakfast this morning. I think i was extra mean. I know he haven't been having enough sleep and I still deprive him further. Actually when three other thought i would be sad when he din finish the breakfast.. haha.. actually is the other way round. He already "give face liao" i know he doesn't even like breakfast. hahaha

I was with van only later in the day and we both agreed that joey is really the guy amongst our class who has the most "substance". YOu rock dude...... hahaha... i just like his sort of guy a lot. I mean also especially when he is like almost good in every sort of games and he really touches our hearts. I already start to miss him. Hope the up coming two days would be a great experience for him. I don't want him to be uncomfortable. I would be very happy as long as he is.
juby
1:58:00 下午